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MAGGIE PESKY GETS AN IPOD TOUCH
AGP: Maggie, ever since you’ve moved in my house, YOU’VE BEEN A PAIN IN THE ASS!!! Maggie: How? AGP: How? You’re always fighting with my grandsons, you roast Lauren 24/7, you destroy ALL OF MY SHIT!!! Maggie: Technically, you destroyed them. AGP: Shut up! Anyway, I need you distracted so you won’t be an annoying little bitch! Maggie: And how? AGP: With this! Angry Grandpa hands Maggie a pink iPod Touch Maggie: Is this an iPod Touch? AGP: Hell yeah! It’s like the iPhone Michael has, but without the phone calls. It even has this loop thingy to put around your hand so you won’t drop it! Maggie: But this is the 5th generation that was released in 2012! And it doesn’t even support the latest iOS! How am I suppose to use this? AGP: FIND A WAY, BITCH!!! Later... Rayna: Maggie why are you still using a old iPod Touch? Maggie: Because Angry Grandpa gave it to me as a way to “distract” myself. JC: I used to have the exact same model, only mine was blue. Maggie: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OLD IPOD, JC!!! AGP: Cut it out, Mag! Maggie: And stop calling me Mag! AGP: Okay Mag! Rayna: Well I have a 512 GB Gold iPhone XS Max, and it’s the greatest phone to have ever existed! JC: That phone is crap! I have a 256 GB Black iPhone X that still runs pretty well! Johnny: I have a 64 GB iPhone 6 Plus that is perfectly fine! Jacob: And I’m ballin’ with a 128 GB Jet Black iPhone 7 Plus! Maggie: I don’t care about your phones! I don’t want this shitty iPod! AGP: HEY!!! I SPEND GOOD MONEY ON THAT THING!!! Rayna: Yeah! Show some respect to the iPod! Maggie: THAT IS IT!!! Maggie forces AGP and Rayna to drive to an Apple Store that’s all the way in Nashville, Tennessee Logenius: Welcome to the Apple Store, how may I he- Maggie: I WANT TO TRADE IN THIS FUCKING IPOD TOUCH FOR A 512 GB GOLD IPHONE XS MAX!!! Logenius: We can’t do that because it is a 5th generation iPod Touch, and you need at least a 6th generation iPod Touch to be eligible for that exchange. Maggie: WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT?!?! WE CAME ALL THE WAY FROM SOUTH CAROLINA FOR THIS EXCHANGE!!! DO IT NOW?!?! AGP: Also, you look like that Apple employee from Samsung’s “Logenius” Ad Series! Logenius: Well I can’t exchange- Maggie eggs Logenius Rayna: MAGGIE NO!!! Maggie rages and destroys a bunch of Apple products on display before being kicked out by security Back at home... AGP: MAGGIE YOU’RE BANNED FROM ALL APPLE STORES!!! Maggie: So? They should’ve exchanged the phone! Rayna: They couldn’t! And you raged like a psycho! AGP: Not even I would do that! Maggie: YOU RAN OVER A POOL!!! AGP: AND THAT WAS MICHAEL’S FAULT FOR NOT BACKING ME UP!!! Rayna: Well I guess you’re stuck with the iPod Touch. Maggie: FUCK!!! JC: But wait! I heard pink is the most calm color. People who look at this iPod’s back will ultimately fall in love with their iPod! Maggie: Yeah right! One month later... Priest: Maggie, do you take this iPod to be your husband? Maggie: I do. Priest: iPod, do you take Maggie to be your wife? iPod: In Siri Mode I do. Priest: I now pronounce you two husband and wife! You may kiss. The two make out AGP: BOO!!! WORST MARRIAGE EVER!!! Chauncey and Frieda: MAGGIE WE ARE DISOWNING YOUR CRAZY ASS!!! Tim Cook: Please kill me... Category:Fanfic Category:Apple